Boston Speed Dating September 2 – Registration Open

We are pleased to announce a speed dating event coming up on Monday, September 2nd (Labor Day). In our efforts to build community, we are trying out a few new things this round. Read more below.

Your registration options are:

INDIVIDUAL  * GROUP  * RETURNING DATER(S)

Event Details:

  • Monday, September 2nd, 2019 from 5-9:30 p.m.
  • The event will be held at The Armory, 191 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA
  • $18.00 preregistration, $25.00 at the door. But no person will be turned away for lack of funds – please contact us!
  • See our accessibility placard for accessibility info–and email if you have further questions.
  • There is limited parking. Taking the T to Davis Square and walking up Highland is strongly recommended. (There are also regular buses.)
  • Check-in starts at 5 p.m.  You must be there by 6:15 p.m.
  • There will be food and drink (with and without booze). Pay bar.
  • We are constantly looking for organizations, ideally with connections to the broader non-monogamous community, engaged with anti-racist work (e.g., The Network/la Red). If you know of any doing good work, please let us know.

New affinity question on the form
Based on some discussion resulting from our Race and Poly house party awhile back, we are adding a new registration question specifically to benefit people of color.  It is “I am a person of color interested in being matched with other people of color for this event.” This will not break other matches, it simply increases the chance of a pre-existing match between two people who check off this box.  We look forward to hearing what people think of this new addition.

Call for Art!
For this event, we are trying to put together an art show. In particular we are interested in art that represents different experiences and backgrounds. We are especially looking for artists of color who have work that is about their experiences with nonmonogamy (even obliquely). We will likely be limiting ourselves to wall art, given space constraints, but are open to other ideas. If interested, please send us three images of your art and a short self-description.

Social Media
We are not good at social media. But perhaps that will change. If you want to follow us on Twitter, you can: see @bostonPSD (for Boston local stuff, such as open reg announcements) and @polyspeeddating (for the full world-wide stuff, in theory).

Save the date, plus other stuff

We have several pieces of news!

  1. Save the date for our next event!
  2. Poly businesses list
  3. Upcoming workshop (signal boost)
  4. PSD art show
  5. Twitter
  6. Coding help request

First, we have a date for our next event! Please mark down the evening of Monday, September 2nd (Labor Day). We will once again be at the Armory in Somerville, with doors opening at 5:00 PM, doors closing at 6:15 PM sharp, and ideally dating starting at 7 PM. Stay tuned for an email in Early August when we open registration.

Second, we have been receiving several emails from therapists and other service providers seeking to email the folks on our list. We have decided to put together an informal directory of poly businesses (either poly related, or owned by poly people) to provide a controlled outlet for all of these requests and to help people find one another. If you are interested in being part of this directory, please email us with your contact information and a short blurb describing what you are offering.  We will collate and post publicly.

Thirdly, in this vein, we recently were told about an upcoming nonmonogamy workshop.  The details are below, if interested.

Finally, we are trying to put together an art show for our next speed dating event to give people something to look at, other than our pretty selves. In particular we are interested in art that represents different experiences and backgrounds. We are especially looking for artists of color who have work that is about their experiences with nonmonogamy (even obliquely). We will likely be limiting ourselves to wall art, given space constraints, but are open to other ideas. If interested, please send us three images of your art and a short self-description.

We are not good at social media. But perhaps that will change. If you want to follow us on Twitter, you can: see @bostonPSD (for Boston local stuff, such as open reg announcements) and @polyspeeddating (for the full world-wide stuff, in theory).

If you are a coder and have some free cycles to deploy, we are in crunch mode and could really use some help! Contact us if you are willing to lend a hand.  Also, WordPress-knowledgeable folks!

And now, details of the aforementioned nonmonogamy workshop of “Exploring Alternatives to Monogamy” run by Eileen Casella Rider, LMHC & Elizabeth Boskey, LISCW

Non-Monogamy is not for everyone. Is it for you? This weekend retreat is for people who are thinking about exploring alternatives to monogamy – whether you’ve already opened up your relationship or are just wanting to explore options. This two-day workshop is designed for those who want to explore the joys and challenges of alternatives to monogamy in a judgment-free setting. We’ll examine insecurity, fear and jealousy that may have prevented you from talking openly with your partner about non monogamy. Eileen’s clinical style is gentle and easy, setting the tone for self-compassion allowing you to explore the depths of your love. Elizabeth’s clinical style is friendly and welcoming, encouraging comfortable explorations of boundaries and looking for new ways to increase joy.

Open to LGBTQ+ Individuals and Couples
Saturday August 17 and Sunday August 18
Whispering Pines Conference Center
Alton Jones Campus-West Greenwich
Call Eileen Casella Rider at 401-351-0111 for more information

Disclaimer: This workshop is not an officially PSD-vetted event; it was sent in by a member of the community

Join us for a discussion about race and racism in our poly communities

Please join us for “A discussion about race and racism in our poly communities.” At this event, jointly hosted with Community Change, Inc (CCI), we will first listen to a cross-race dialogue with a few non-monogamous people with a shared history of poly and sex-positive community, and then open it up to wider discussion.

We hope that this party will be one piece of working to dismantle racism on the interpersonal and structural level within non-monogamous communities. We will get to talk about issues such as bringing one’s anti-racism to one’s poly, why so many of our communities are so white, how we can work to create authentically open and inviting spaces, and intersectionality and vulnerability in marginalized communities.

We will also get to hear about CCI’s work from CCI’s Executive Director, Shay Stewart-Bouley (the award-winning writer known as Black Girl in Maine). CCI is one of the organizations that we have been supporting for awhile now. This gathering is both a fundraiser in support of CCI’s much needed and critical work and also an opportunity to engage in authentic dialogue.

We hope you can make what is sure to be an interesting and engaging conversation about race and ourselves.

Time: 1-3pm on June 2nd in Union Square, Somerville (we will send specific address closer to the date to those who RSVPed affirmatively)

Please RSVP by sending email to luke@polyspeeddating.com so we can get an accurate head count, as space is limited!

Luke’s cell phone is (510) 735-7635, if you need help finding the place or want further information.

Some refreshments will be provided

This event is organized by Luke (one of your poly speed dating organizers) in conjunction with CCI and the house of Shimmy Everlasting.

 

Some further information

Q: Tell me more about Community Change, Inc.?

A: Community Change, Inc. (CCI) is a nonprofit that provides opportunities for people to learn about institutional racism and take action to combat it. At more than 50 years old, Community Change Inc is the oldest, continuously running anti-racism organization in the country. While CCI’s been doing this work for 50 years, it’s needed now more than ever. CCI focuses on engaging white people on this issue because it identifies racism as a white problem. CCI’s program includes anti-racism trainings with community groups and organizations, and regular e-mail alerts about ways to support organizations led by people of color that are fighting against discrimination in housing, jobs, education, health care and other areas. Their website is http://www.communitychangeinc.org/

 

Q: Is this a kid friendly event?

A: While the conversation and event itself is not at all child oriented, you are welcome to bring your kids and have them read in the corner or on the porch. We will even give them snacks.

 

Q: Are their pets in the house?

A: Not in the part of the house you will be in!  Dander-free!

 

Q: And the next Poly Speed Dating event?

A: Assuming all goes well, we are in the process of scheduling for mid August, 2019.

Post-Halloween Armory Wrap-Up

Our last event had 164 people ranging from the 20s to 60s in age. Around 20% were looking for primary partners, 30% were open to it, and the rest were looking for something else. 70% identify as kinky, one way or the other. The words people used to help fine-tune their matches reflect the great range we had at the event. People wanted to connect on fiber-arts, fire-spinning, or scuba-diving. People were democrats, conservatives, anti-fascists. We had film-buffs, ice-climbers, and salsa-dancers. Various forms of play were mentioned in all sorts of flavors. Adjectives abounded: silly, sober, smart-ass. There were nearly a thousand different tags used.

Not only are our events about connecting people to people, but they are also about connecting people to nonprofits that we want to support in our communities. We invite our selected organizations to our events to table and do outreach, and then give any profits to these organizations, partially divided up by how daters “vote.” So far we have focused on nonprofits engaged in anti-racist work and who ideally also connect to our wider non-monogamous communities.

At our last event we raised $1085 for four distinct organizations that we think are doing excellent work. This was partially supported by the Armory in Somerville, who gave us a discount on the venue to support our fundraising efforts.  We encourage all to continue to track what our sponsored organizations are up to, and to continue to support them (with money or time) as best you can. The four organizations for this round are:

The Network/la Red (http://tnlr.org)
Donate here: https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/541728/

Community Change, Inc. (http://www.communitychangeinc.org/)
Donate here: https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/119038?code=CCI+General

The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (http://www.thecsph.org/)
Donate here: http://www.thecsph.org/donate/
(You can tag their donations to various anti-racist programs they are working on, if you like.)

The Alternatives to Violence Project (Mass) (https://avpma.org/)
Donate here: https://avpma.org/donate/

Join us for a post-Halloween PSD event!

We are pleased to announce a speed dating event coming up on Friday, November 2nd. Last time rocked; high on that energy, your PSD organizers decided to actually try and run more than one in a calendar year! As with last time, this is a fundraiser to support and promote various anti-racist activities in the Boston area and beyond.

Your registration options are:

INDIVIDUAL  * GROUP  * RETURNING DATER(S)

Event Details:

  • Friday, November 2nd, 2018 from 6-10:00 p.m.
  • The event will be held at The Armory,191 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA
  • $18.00 preregistration, $25.00 at the door. But no person will be turned away for lack of funds – please contact us!
  • This space is accessible (accessibility card ideally forthcoming).  There is limited parking. Taking the T to Davis Square and walking up Highland is strongly recommended.  (There are also regular buses.)
  • Check-in starts at 6 p.m.  You must be there by 7 p.m.
  • There will be food and drink (with and without booze). Pay bar.
  • We are constantly looking for organizations, ideally with connections to the broader non-monogamous community, engaged with anti-racist work (e.g., The Network/la Red). If you know of any doing good work, please let us know.

Attire and costumes:
As usual, we expect people to dress up if they so desire. Heck, it is close to Halloween so go nuts if you want to!  Costumes are super welcome, but be sure to allow for visibility, mobility, and seating ability. Also, if people can’t see your face at all, they might not check yes for a date.  Think about whether you want to be creepy or not, in other words. More masquerade ball, less zombie apocalypse — or just come as your fabulous selves.

Regardless, we will supply the candy.

Note: We fully expect a mix of both costumed and not. Both are awesome ways for you to attend.

 

Armory event wrap-up

At our last event we raised $2061.89  and got the word out about several organizations that we think are doing excellent work. We were helped by our food vendor, Chilacates in JP, who gave us a discount to support our fundraising. Thank you Chilacates! And also the Armory in Somerville, who gave us a discount on the venue to again support our fundraising efforts.

And a tremendous final thank-you to our greeters and volunteers who really made the event happen by making signs, checking in people, making the info sheets, obtaining supplies, cleaning up, entering data, and so much more.

We also wanted to encourage you to continue to track what our sponsored organizations are up to, and to continue to support them (with money or time) as best you can. See our Nonprofit sheets on the four organizations, which are

The Network/la Red
http://tnlr.org
Donate here: https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/541728/
We raised: $490.66

Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP)
http://www.new.swopusa.org/
Donate here: http://www.new.swopusa.org/donations-2/
(If you like you can tag your donation as targeting their new project working explicitly on anti-racism.)
We raised: $763.16

Black and Pink
http://www.blackandpink.org/chapters/boston/
Donate here: https://secure.actblue.com/contribute/page/blackandpink
(There are also many ways to get involved, including being a pen pal to support incarcerated persons.)
We raised: $451.07

White People Challenging Racism (WPCR), supported by Community Change, Inc.
http://www.wpcr-boston.org/home/
Donate here: https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/119038?code=CCI+General
(CCI is the umbrella organization that does a variety of work. As you donate, you can tag your money for WPCR.)
We raised: $357.00

We are now going through the feedback you all had for the event. We will post updates, plans, and reflections on our blog. Be sure to stay connected with us, as we are now planning an event for next October (mailing list link at right).