boston PSD

Boston Speed Dating September 2, 2019

We are pleased to announce a speed dating event coming up on Monday, September 2nd (Labor Day). In our efforts to build community, we are trying out a few new things this round. Read more below.

Your registration options are:


Event Details:

  • Monday, September 2nd, 2019 from 5-9:30 p.m.
  • The event will be held at The Armory, 191 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA
  • $18.00 preregistration, $25.00 at the door. But no person will be turned away for lack of funds – please contact us!
  • See our accessibility placard for accessibility info–and email if you have further questions.
  • There is limited parking. Taking the T to Davis Square and walking up Highland is strongly recommended. (There are also regular buses.)
  • Check-in starts at 5 p.m.  You must be there by 6:15 p.m.
  • There will be food and drink (with and without booze). Pay bar.
  • We are constantly looking for organizations, ideally with connections to the broader non-monogamous community, engaged with anti-racist work (e.g., The Network/la Red). If you know of any doing good work, please let us know.

New affinity question on the form
Based on some discussion resulting from our Race and Poly house party awhile back, we are adding a new registration question specifically to benefit people of color.  It is “I am a person of color interested in being matched with other people of color for this event.” This will not break other matches, it simply increases the chance of a pre-existing match between two people who check off this box.  We look forward to hearing what people think of this new addition.

Call for Art!
For this event, we are trying to put together an art show. In particular we are interested in art that represents different experiences and backgrounds. We are especially looking for artists of color who have work that is about their experiences with nonmonogamy (even obliquely). We will likely be limiting ourselves to wall art, given space constraints, but are open to other ideas. If interested, please send us three images of your art and a short self-description.

Social Media
We are not good at social media. But perhaps that will change. If you want to follow us on Twitter, you can: see @bostonPSD (for Boston local stuff, such as open reg announcements) and @polyspeeddating (for the full world-wide stuff, in theory).

Join us for a discussion about race and racism in our poly communities

Please join us for “A discussion about race and racism in our poly communities.” At this event, jointly hosted with Community Change, Inc (CCI), we will first listen to a cross-race dialogue with a few non-monogamous people with a shared history of poly and sex-positive community, and then open it up to wider discussion.

We hope that this party will be one piece of working to dismantle racism on the interpersonal and structural level within non-monogamous communities. We will get to talk about issues such as bringing one’s anti-racism to one’s poly, why so many of our communities are so white, how we can work to create authentically open and inviting spaces, and intersectionality and vulnerability in marginalized communities.

We will also get to hear about CCI’s work from CCI’s Executive Director, Shay Stewart-Bouley (the award-winning writer known as Black Girl in Maine). CCI is one of the organizations that we have been supporting for awhile now. This gathering is both a fundraiser in support of CCI’s much needed and critical work and also an opportunity to engage in authentic dialogue.

We hope you can make what is sure to be an interesting and engaging conversation about race and ourselves.

Time: 1-3pm on June 2nd in Union Square, Somerville (we will send specific address closer to the date to those who RSVPed affirmatively)

Please RSVP by sending email to so we can get an accurate head count, as space is limited!

Luke’s cell phone is (510) 735-7635, if you need help finding the place or want further information.

Some refreshments will be provided

This event is organized by Luke (one of your poly speed dating organizers) in conjunction with CCI and the house of Shimmy Everlasting.


Some further information

Q: Tell me more about Community Change, Inc.?

A: Community Change, Inc. (CCI) is a nonprofit that provides opportunities for people to learn about institutional racism and take action to combat it. At more than 50 years old, Community Change Inc is the oldest, continuously running anti-racism organization in the country. While CCI’s been doing this work for 50 years, it’s needed now more than ever. CCI focuses on engaging white people on this issue because it identifies racism as a white problem. CCI’s program includes anti-racism trainings with community groups and organizations, and regular e-mail alerts about ways to support organizations led by people of color that are fighting against discrimination in housing, jobs, education, health care and other areas. Their website is


Q: Is this a kid friendly event?

A: While the conversation and event itself is not at all child oriented, you are welcome to bring your kids and have them read in the corner or on the porch. We will even give them snacks.


Q: Are their pets in the house?

A: Not in the part of the house you will be in!  Dander-free!


Q: And the next Poly Speed Dating event?

A: Assuming all goes well, we are in the process of scheduling for mid August, 2019.

Post-Halloween Armory Wrap-Up

Our last event had 164 people ranging from the 20s to 60s in age. Around 20% were looking for primary partners, 30% were open to it, and the rest were looking for something else. 70% identify as kinky, one way or the other. The words people used to help fine-tune their matches reflect the great range we had at the event. People wanted to connect on fiber-arts, fire-spinning, or scuba-diving. People were democrats, conservatives, anti-fascists. We had film-buffs, ice-climbers, and salsa-dancers. Various forms of play were mentioned in all sorts of flavors. Adjectives abounded: silly, sober, smart-ass. There were nearly a thousand different tags used.

Not only are our events about connecting people to people, but they are also about connecting people to nonprofits that we want to support in our communities. We invite our selected organizations to our events to table and do outreach, and then give any profits to these organizations, partially divided up by how daters “vote.” So far we have focused on nonprofits engaged in anti-racist work and who ideally also connect to our wider non-monogamous communities.

At our last event we raised $1085 for four distinct organizations that we think are doing excellent work. This was partially supported by the Armory in Somerville, who gave us a discount on the venue to support our fundraising efforts.  We encourage all to continue to track what our sponsored organizations are up to, and to continue to support them (with money or time) as best you can. The four organizations for this round are:

The Network/la Red (
Donate here:

Community Change, Inc. (
Donate here:

The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (
Donate here:
(You can tag their donations to various anti-racist programs they are working on, if you like.)

The Alternatives to Violence Project (Mass) (
Donate here:

Armory event wrap-up

At our last event we raised $2061.89  and got the word out about several organizations that we think are doing excellent work. We were helped by our food vendor, Chilacates in JP, who gave us a discount to support our fundraising. Thank you Chilacates! And also the Armory in Somerville, who gave us a discount on the venue to again support our fundraising efforts.

And a tremendous final thank-you to our greeters and volunteers who really made the event happen by making signs, checking in people, making the info sheets, obtaining supplies, cleaning up, entering data, and so much more.

We also wanted to encourage you to continue to track what our sponsored organizations are up to, and to continue to support them (with money or time) as best you can. See our Nonprofit sheets on the four organizations, which are

The Network/la Red
Donate here:
We raised: $490.66

Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP)
Donate here:
(If you like you can tag your donation as targeting their new project working explicitly on anti-racism.)
We raised: $763.16

Black and Pink
Donate here:
(There are also many ways to get involved, including being a pen pal to support incarcerated persons.)
We raised: $451.07

White People Challenging Racism (WPCR), supported by Community Change, Inc.
Donate here:
(CCI is the umbrella organization that does a variety of work. As you donate, you can tag your money for WPCR.)
We raised: $357.00

We are now going through the feedback you all had for the event. We will post updates, plans, and reflections on our blog. Be sure to stay connected with us, as we are now planning an event for next October (mailing list link at right).